Adjusting is accepted as being a part and parcel of relationships, friendship and life in general. People often say that how can a relationship, friendship or life for that matter be sustained if one doesn't adjust. As a result they start taking this adjustment process in their stride and are even proud of this "quality" of theirs.
I respectfully disagree. At least to the above being true in its absolute form. Adjusting externally is extremely necessary as finally we are a part of society as a whole. And adjusting internally is what really directs that external adjustment process.
But adjusting mentally shouldn't happen blindly. Each and every adjustment in life (from the tiniest ones to things more colossal) should be preceded by the following questions:
- Should there ever be a need to adjust?
- What am I looking to gain by adjusting?
- What have I done to deserve this adjustment process?
- As adjustment means compromise, is compromise what I really want?
- Can life exist without adjustment?
- Can I ever truly be happy by adjusting?
Answers to the above will be truly eye-opening when applied the next time such a scenario arises. It will put a lot of things into context.
I normally feel I am furthering a relationship by adjusting but in reality all I am doing is making that relationship that much more brittle. The reason for this being that in the back of my mind I will always have the fact ingrained that I adjusted ("I" ... "adjusted"). Hence, I should be getting just rewards out of it but that is never the case as one adjustment will just pave way for more adjustments.
Instead aim for adjustment-free relationships, adjustment-free friendships and an adjustment-free life! Until that is achieved, continue adjusting internally and externally but never ever forget the above questions and more importantly the answers to those questions.
For that is the only place where true happiness exists!
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