If
This single word can never be used in isolation ... well mostly anyways. It is almost always followed by multiple repetitions of similar 'If' requests.
'If only I had a chance to make that choice again my life would have turned up differently' - in isolation that sounds like a great statement and full of hope. And it is such for the romantics. In reality that 'If' is in turn followed by 'and I hope even thingA happened differently' and 'and I further hope that thingB happened differently'. It's a never-ending saga.
Two approaches to deal with it:
- Keep repeating the 'If's in an endless pattern with really nothing concrete coming out of it. Even if for one minute we fantasize that the first 'If' was to actually come true would it really make us completely happy? - If not, let's think what would? [There's goes the dreaded 'If' again in the previous statement]
- Don't start with the 'If' in the first place.
With the 2nd approach I accept things the way they are, for better or worse. They happened to me for a reason. They made me a better person. Nothing can fill in for the experience I gained from the way things happened. They would have happened the way they did irrespective of what I did.
One might say that this isn't really hope as hope is always for things which are yet to come and not for things that happened in the past. ‘If’ is also a thing yet to come. I am hoping that things which happened in the past change [in other words as I am hoping for changes in those past events – the changes have yet not occurred - hence they are things which are yet to come and not something that happened in the past and thus hope can be applied to them].
One might further argue that he/she doesn’t hope for past things to change as it’s a foolish thing and no one can change the past. And if so, an honest answer to this simple question will suffice: “Am I truly happy with everything that has happened in my life so far?” Being happy means completely accepting of everything that's happened in my life and the outcome of every decision - conscious or unconscious. It will reveal whether the rest needs to be read or not.
I know I will be reading further.
Losing hope kills.
Having hope helps one survive at the bare sustainable levels.
Rising above hope helps one truly live. ['Rising above hope' is as much an opposite of 'losing hope' as 'having hope' is away from 'losing hope']
This is not about losing hope. It is about realising hope's limitations and its eventual fruitlessness. It is about rising above hope.
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