Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Rudeness is subjective. Someone asking me a simple "why are you doing it like this?" or saying "I don't want to tell you" might feel like the rudest thing I have ever heard in my life if it is coming from a person whom I am not close to and even the foulest of words used by someone who's dear to me sound like they were dipped in honey.
Why this simple yet absolutely critical discrimination? The reason being just my ego. I like/love that person, I am offended, my sensibilities are hurt, my friend said that, my friend behaved that way, I don't like that tone ... it is always that ... MY or 'I'.
One option to get past the rudeness is to make the MY all-encompassing and all-endearing in which case there is no one/nothing left out. Then there is nothing that any one says/does which can be rude anymore because it is said by someone who is mine.
Of course even in the case of it become all-encompassing and all-endearing one must never forget the ego. MY is pleasing only until 'I' is not wounded. With the ego taking a blow, MY suddenly becomes secondary. MY takes a backseat when 'I' is being taken for a ride. It doesn't matter if at that moment MY comprises of my parents, my best friend, my boss, my Guru or even God Himself ... they all lose in front of the 'I' which in turn is the biggest loss for 'I' itself, although that remains unnoticed at that point of time.
Only when 'I' dissolves completely does MY dissolve and only then do MY and I truly become all-encompassing and all-endearing and as a result rudeness or its effects cease to exist. No give or take of rudeness survive at or beyond that point. And they are present at pretty much every point before that.
