Seeker's thoughts ...

Bet

And yet another day
dawns, soon to set;
And thus life moves
to and fro this regret.

To escape this dullness,
am I not ready to bet?
One can’t really swim
without first getting wet.

Trying to be the "Best"

Trying to be someone's best friend, someone's biggest well-wisher, having the best car or house are all nothing but attacks of the ego.

I am doing just fine when I try to be friends with people. As soon as the concept of "best" comes into the picture I am no longer being a "friend" and instead trying to be the "best". I no longer want to own a "car" and instead want to own "best". The adjective becomes the thing I run after rather than the noun. As a result I cannot enjoy the object represented by the noun anymore and on the other hand the adjective's something I will never get as it is a very abstract, relative thing. Never gotten by anyone. Never can be.

I am left with neither (adjective or noun). Makes me bitter, frustrated and that much less peaceful in life. More adjectives I am after a higher degree of superlative to each of the before-mentioned sufferings.

Also, just by remaining a friend I will contribute a lot more to the person than by trying to be his/her best friend. Trying to be the "best" will just create friction sooner or later due to the weight of expectations instead of just enjoying the relationship which will bring more joy in that person's life and will do the same for me.

If

This single word can never be used in isolation ... well mostly anyways. It is almost always followed by multiple repetitions of similar 'If' requests.

'If only I had a chance to make that choice again my life would have turned up differently' - in isolation that sounds like a great statement and full of hope. And it is such for the romantics. In reality that 'If' is in turn followed by 'and I hope even thingA happened differently' and 'and I further hope that thingB happened differently'. It's a never-ending saga.

Two approaches to deal with it:

1. Keep repeating the 'If's in an endless pattern with really nothing concrete coming out of it. Even if for one minute we fantasize that the first 'If' was to actually come true would it really make us completely happy? - If not, let's think what would? [There's goes the dreaded 'If' again in the previous statement]
   
2. Don't start with the 'If' in the first place.

With the 2nd approach I accept things the way they are, for better or worse. They happened to me for a reason. They made me a better person. Nothing can fill in for the experience I gained from the way things happened. They would have happened the way they did irrespective of what I did.

One might say that this isn't really hope as hope is always for things which are yet to come and not for things that happened in the past. ‘If’ is also a thing yet to come. I am hoping that things which happened in the past change [in other words as I am hoping for changes in those past events – the changes have yet not occurred - hence they are things which are yet to come and not something that happened in the past and thus hope can be applied to them].

One might further argue that he/she doesn’t hope for past things to change as it’s a foolish thing and no one can change the past. And if so, an honest answer to this simple question will suffice: “Am I truly happy with everything that has happened in my life so far?” Being happy means completely accepting of everything that's happened in my life and the outcome of every decision - conscious or unconscious. It will reveal whether the rest needs to be read or not.

I know I will be reading further.

Losing hope kills.

Having hope helps one survive at the bare sustainable levels.

Rising above hope helps one truly live. ['Rising above hope' is as much an opposite of 'losing hope' as 'having hope' is away from 'losing hope']

This is not about losing hope. It is about realising hope's limitations and its eventual fruitlessness. It is about rising above hope.